Merry Christmas to All!

(and to all a good night!)

Today was an eventful, but non-eventful day.

I woke up at 12:30 PM, because I was up at like 2.. doing what, you ask? Looking at the 2010 Victoria's Secret Fasion show, of course!
Hahaha. It was just so much fun feeling inadequate and insecure.

I woke up this morning feeling like I should definitely eat healthily and drink lots of water, and all that. The problem was, I had absolutely nothing to do.

I cleaned my room, and went and got oatmeal for breakfast. Oatmeal is good because it expands in your stomach due to absorbing moisture and whatnot, so it's supposed to help keep you full. Then I headed up to my bathroom and brushed my teeth as to prevent me from wanting to eat some post-breakfast dessert. (You know how sweet stuff tastes after you brush your teeth--euggh). I put the final touches on my room, and bam.
I have 2 hours to kill.

Here's the thing about me, free time and boredom. I usually end up sitting down in front of the TV, watching reruns of horrible shows, and eating my butt's weight in whatever's in the very handily located pantry, which is literally 5 steps away from my TV watching chair.
[My TV watching chair is this awesome green chair that in my old house was at an awkward angle to the TV so it was really uncomfortable, but here it's just perfect. You can balance both remotes on either armrest -- the volume remote and the fast forwarding remote, as I call them -- and then you're set.]

so I attempted to evade this tempting little hobby of mine. I looked through a child's book called "The Big Book of Amazing Things to Make and Do". Not so amazing. They were all crafty and messy things... which does not bode well when your house has JUST been purged of all dust and dirt. I walked around the house, looking for something else to do. Nothing. I went and got the mail. Fliers, cause nobody loves me. So do you know what I finally decided to go and do?

Have a visit with my TV watching chair (;
But I said to myself "Okay, I'm not going to snack, because someday, I WILL be a Victoria's Secret Angel".

Yeah, we all lie to ourselves sometimes.

It worked for the first show. I sat through it, let my mind glaze over into a stupor. I even wandered over to the pantry for something to snack. I think I just like the feeling of something to chew on. Or maybe it's that I tend to go for chocolate, or carbs, both which make you feel a little happier. But no, I made it through the first show I watched.

Second show, not so lucky.
I ended up cracking open a bag of Parmesan-baked Pita Chips--BUT WITH LOW SODIUM AND ZERO TRANS AND SATURATED FAT!!

After demolishing half the bag, I decided I needed to put it back.
I did that, and then I felt really sad, so I went and sat in the couch instead and snuggled up with a fuzzy blanket. Insta-cure for post-putting-the-snack-back-sadness.

I then checked the time, and it was time to go get my sister from the airport! SCORE.
(Her flight had been delayed an hour, so that's why I ended up having so much spare time)

Drove there, got bored in the car, picked her up, drove to my favourite Mexican restaurant: Pappasito's!
Shared some fajitas, drove home. I unpacked her suitcase for her while she had computer troubles. She dropped it twice in one day, and although it worked fine directly afterward, that NEVER bodes well.

All the laptops in this house have issues.
Laptop 1: Fan is broken, and this causes the computer to last about 5 minutes before it overheats and DIES.

Laptop 2: My sister's laptop doesn't turn on, and tells you after trying to "automatically fix the problem" that the solution cannot be "automatically fixed"... THANKS WINDOWS.

This laptop: When you unplug it, it dies. (So basically the battery is shot.) Doesn't sound like such a big problem, right? Well, when you're clumsy, and trip over the cord more often than don't, it doesn't add up to being fun.

I think we're going to enlist the help of the Geek Squad tomorrow while we go shopping. [for our parents' presents on Christmas Eve...... HA]

So what then?
We [my sister and I] then watched The Golden Child [awesome story, bad graphics], and after an episode of Glee [the one where Kurt's getting harassed by what's-his-face and then what's-his-face kisses him :O]

Then, I go on the computer/facebook, and am unpleasantly surprised by something I have a problem with. So two days before Christmas, I'm a heartless girl and decide to tell that person.
Oops.

But I actually do have a big problem with it.
Oh well.

So now, it's one in the morning on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas, readers.
I hope that all of you have a splendid holiday, and that all of you spend good, quality time with your loved ones.

-Lauren

Anger vs. My Dreams

Of course, the night that I'm the most angry at the person I care about, I have THE best dream with that person. Seriously?

Okay last night, I was sitting on my bed with my computer. Then I turned the computer off after I blogged here, and then I fell asleep right then and there. I was pretty exhausted. Then I wake up at 4:57 AM and decide that I should put on some pajamas and brush my teeth. So I do, and three minutes later, I'm back in bed, and falling asleep. Somewhere between then and now, the most amazing dream happened. I can't even begin to describe how incredibly happy I was during that dream. And it was with the person I'm the most angry at right now.

Is it just that I was feeling passionate feelings about him last night before I went to sleep? I have no clue. But I hope it's not my subconcious telling me to get over my issues with that stupid girl. Because I'm not going to do that anytime soon, and nor am I willing to forgive anyone just yet.

Plans for today? Getting off the computer ASAP, then I'm going shopping with some friends, then I am potentially either going to a movie, or going to an open house party.

-Lauren

Rock Forgiveness Record

Summary of my day in bullet-point form:

• wake up
• exam (good)
• go home
• chillax
• get really bored
• make a grilled cheese sandwich
• get really really bored
• get ready for the party
• go to the party (meh-ish)
• come home and listen to BSS's new album (awesome)
• honesty time (bad)

So. I'm gonna just discuss the last 4.

During the 4th last, I talk to the person closest to me on the phone, and I hear that they spent a lengthy period of time alone with the one person in the world I don't like. Of course, this was sandwiched in between good bits, so I couldn't be honest right then and there. Plus, it would have taken a while anyway, and I had to get on with my evening.

Background information: this person that I hate is a disgrace to herself. Honestly. She betrayed one of her closest friends and was the person that close friend's boyfriend cheated on with, if that makes sense.

The party was kind of boring. There wasn't really a lot of people I knew there, and although I looked really good, if I do say so myself, I didn't exactly feel good. I've been having headaches and stomachaches all week, and no, it's not THAT time of the month. Some gross boy hit on me, but there were a few nice people there, and of course the girl who's party it was was really sweet, and she looked gorgeous. It was a masquerade party, and so it was pretty formal. I had a red and black lacey, sparkly dress on, and the back is my favourite part. It's like with silk laces that tie it up, and so the back is pretty low cut, and I've never worn anything like that before. But as a result of me being so scandalously exposed (haha, not), I was hit on by a most unfortunate character. -__- He sought to impress me by pointing out that his full name is the name of a beer, and that he was drunk on Thanksgiving and nobody knew. So not impressed. He also told me (or told a guy that I was sitting with) that he had brought 'protection' in case it was 'that' kind of party. Yeah, okay. I'm not 'that' kind of girl.

Rock Forgiveness Record by Broken Social Scene. I really like it. It's the only Broken Social Scene album that I physically own. All of the rest, I just have the MP3s. As a result, I have listened to it through and through so many times. I love it. I can't pick a favourite right now.

Honesty Time: The cat's out of the bag.

So I told the person that I hated the girl they were hanging out with, and I even told him what she did. And what came out of my honesty?
"It's not true. You're being dumb. Your best friend(s) are full of s**t. I don't believe you. I'm not talking to you."

Thanks for that, really.
What a nice way to go into the Christmas break.

So I'm left here, blogging at 2 in the morning, pouring my emotions and anger out to all of the readers of this blog. (i.e. nobody) But if you are reading this, I sincerely want to thank you for your time, and apologize for the rantiness.

-Lauren

Embarrassinggggggggggggggggg!

Every so often, life just reminds you of how much of a fool you are.

Those horrible, embarrassing moments.. eeesh.

So my sister sent me this song last night (Miami 2 Ibiza - Swedish House Mafia vs. Tinie Tempah) and I just love it. It's so much fun to dance to and just jam out to. My parents went out for the night, so I was just hanging out in my office, and then I play this song, and I start jumping around going all crazy...
The windows and blinds are all open and whatnot..
Don't get me wrong, I'm not weird like that, but I live on a brand new street and I literally have no neighbors. No one across the street, beside us, nobody. It gets lonely sometimes, but honestly, it's just awesome when you wanna just jam out in your street-facing office no matter if the blinds are open or not.

So I'm just dancing about, and having a blast, whatever. Everybody has done it sometime--have a dance party all by themselves to a cool song. And then I hear trucks. I think "No big deal, they're just on the main road. Whatever" And I look outside the window. Three pickup trucks full of boys just LOOKING for something to do. And they're watching me.
Oh.
My.
God.

What did I do?
I sat down in the chair. In plain sight. Then I realized a better course of action would be to run away. And this I did. I hid in my pantry, and hyperventilated for a couple seconds before I realized that it's all my fault anyway.

Moral of the story: If you are going to have a dance party, and be weird, close the shutters.

Lesson learned!
Now what?
I'm freakishly bored. It's a Friday night. Nothing to do.
I can't have a dance party now, because that would be embarrassing..

Well.
I'm gonna go do some yoga with my pal Eoin Finn.

Good night.
-Lauren

I just got home from such a fun night with my friends. We went to dinner at McAlistair's, which was pretty good, and then walked across the parking lot to the theater and saw Burlesque. It was really good. I'd reccommend seeing it. Christina Aguilera is gorgeous in it, of course, and Cher is wonderful. And some of you might recognize Cam Gigandet from Twilight...

It started out in a small, country bar, and I thought the previews were still going. It started out so different from the previews and commercials that I'd seen for it, but once everything got started up, it definitely exceeded my expectations. I wish I could sing like Christina Aguilera!

Here's a preview:




Anyway.
After the movie, we went to Nestle Toll House, and I saw some other friends there, and it was nice to see them. And then we had ice cream and cookies. Our selections were Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Black Cherry Ice Cream, Peanut Butter Ice Cream and a rainbow chocolate chip cookie for me! All good, as always.

I helped out at a Special Olympics Bowling Tournament today. It was pretty fun, although there was a lot of standing around. But I helped with the passing of the torch, which was a cool experience. It was really awesome to see all of those athletes just having fun, and getting cheered on by everyone.

Tomorrow is a nothing day. Sleep and homework. Nada. It should be quiet and slow, but that's the way I like my down days.

-Lauren

I'll be home for a white Christmas, if only in my dreams.

Today was a rather sad day.


I woke up to the sound of my alarm this morning, same time as every day - 5:29 AM, and I shut it off after groggily thinking "Why is my alarm going? It's Saturday!"
Of course, it's not Saturday. It's Friday, December 3rd.


After shutting off my alarm, I promptly fell back asleep, and then woke up to my mom telling me to get up. By then it was 6:10, and I leave the house at 6:30 or 6:32 AM every day to walk/run to the bus stop. I usually end up running from my door, across Thomas Ridge Lane, down the empty streets to the main road, where the only other person at my stop is always there before me. And I'm usually just on time, or slightly late. It's just the way it is.


Despite my waking up late, I still managed to get out of the house, although I looked slightly less than put together.


I was perfectly on time today. I was a meter away from the stop when the bus pulled up. It's a good thing I leapt out the front door and continued on jogging all the way to the street. I might have actually missed that bus.

It wasn't too cold outside today, but as always Mrs. Collins, the bus driver, had the heat cranked up to an unbearable degree. As a Canadian living in Texas, I have scoffed at what Texans think 'cold' is, but I cannot help feeling smothered by the heat in the bus every morning. It's like an overly-warm blanket that is wrapped around every part of you. Unbearable. Mrs. Collins was also playing Christmas music.


I'm not normally opposed to Christmas music, but this morning, the songs grated against my eardrums. Somehow, when it's 20 degrees celsius outside, I cannot begin to stomach the songs that I always have associated with the snowy nights curled up by a warm fireplace while it snows outside. I especially cannot stand the song "White Christmas" or "I'll Be Home For Christmas", because those songs perfectly embody how I feel. Perfectly... except that I know that I can only dream of that snowy Christmas morning, and I can only dream of being home.


I'm so so sad. I was here for last Christmas, but I had only just moved; everything seemed like a vacation. But in 16 days, I'll have been here for a year, and I have no excuse to regard my stay here as a vacation.. It's astounding how much I wish I could go home. On those mornings on the bus, I can sometimes close my eyes and picture myself on a Calgary city bus, surrounded by diverse people I do not know, and sitting beside the one person I know very well. I only have those few minutes every morning where I can attempt to dream of such things before I'm interrupted.


There are only days left in the year 2010...
I can't help but feel relieved but also regretful.
Relieved because with every day that passes, I step closer to summer.
Regretful because as I'm wishing my days away, I know that after this year, everything will be different. The majority of my friends here will have graduated or gone back to their home countries (the sadness of being exchange students)... I will be a senior, and in another year, I'll be done with the penitentiary they call high school.
In truth, it's not that bad. I'm not generally disliked by anyone. I have friends, I'm sociable. I get great marks/grades. I just want so badly to get out. I guess it's true that attitude makes all the difference in the world.


Tomorrow, I'm volunteering at a bowling event for kids with special needs. It should be a good time. I hope it will be. I haven't volunteered in a while.


Lately, I've been reading more often that I have in months past. I've spent the past week on the Luxe series by Anna Godbersen. I read the first two a year or so ago, but only recently, I bought the entire, four part series (The Luxe, Rumors, Envy and Splendor). I loved every minute of it, except for the ending, which left a lot to be desired, in my opinion. Although the ending made sense with the characters' personalities, I don't think it should have ended that way. I had it all planned out in my head before I read the last few chapters. Not everyone would get their happy ending, but certainly more than had gotten a nice end in the book. Out of the four central characters, only one truly got a happy ending by the end of the book. I guess two more could have found their happy ending somewhere along their lifespan, but the ending didn't quite play out as I had wanted it to. As for Anna Godbersen's next series, Bright Young Things, set in the late 1920s, I am not sure yet if I will read it or not. If you've read it, tell me how it is! (:


Another thing happening lately is that I've been playing FreeRice very often. It's a website where, by answering questions right, you can donate rice to impoverished people around the world, for free. If you have a spare half hour, or 15 minutes, I'd say it's worth your time to try it.

That's all for now.

-Lauren

The Beginning

Hello all,
My name is Lauren, as you may or may not have seen on the sidebar.
I'm not new to blogging. I've been blogging (on and off) for the past few years. Ever since one of my newest and closest friends introduced me to the idea, I've been posting out random, haphazard blogs. Most of them have been pretty meaningless, and a lot of them were filled with emotion that no one but me could understand because I never explained fully what I was trying to say. I realize that while blogging is not entirely like a journal, and should maintain some of the fundamental social etiquettes that people use in public, I feel like it should be a space where I can rant to you all of my frustrations with everything and remark on the lovely things that happen, too. I'm going to be as honest as possible and if necessary, I am going to change names, but we'll get to that later.

On a different note, this is my first entry, and I feel like I should go in some meaningful direction.

You know when you've had a whole entire weekend to relax and do whatever you want, and then Sunday night rolls around, and you feel as if you should do your homework, but you don't really want to? That's me. Right here. So much so that I ended up making another blog instead of doing homework. I have no clue what homework I even have. I think I have to study for English. We're writing a rhetorical analysis essay on the Letter from Birmingham Jail tomorrow. I should definitely study for that, but I feel so relaxed right now that not even the prospect of essay-writing can arouse in me a sense of duty to do my work.

Okay, so I just finished reading the entire Letter From Birmingham Jail. Martin Luther King Jr, you were an amazing writer and orator, but I wish you kept everything a little more concise. And didn't use words like 'ekklesia'. I have no clue what that means. Paragraph 43 if anyone wants to see the actual context.
I hope that just reading it will suffice for studying. It took long enough..

Have you ever wished so much that you were somewhere else?
Have you ever wished to be that one special place all the time?
Have you ever wished it so much that you were sick of wishing for it?

If you've answered yes to any of the above, then you've probably moved or gone on an extended trip away from home. Or possibly, you feel just as if you don't fit in where you are, and know that there's a place that you like much better.

I wish I was home now, in the freezing cold weather, with snow up to my knees, and winter winds freezing everything right down to the tears in my eyes. I wish I was back at my old school, not studying another country's history and literature, and where I'm not constantly noticing the accents of people around me because it's different from my own. I wish I was back at my old house, where everytime I looked out my bedroom window, I saw the rooftop extending outwards underneath my window, just begging me to climb out and enjoy the breeze and view.
In other words, I wish I was not here.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate it here. I don't even dislike everything about this place. There are some really nice people, some nice places, some nice food, and some nice experiences I wouldn't have had if I hadn't moved. But.. it's not there. It's not home. The one year anniversary for me moving here is coming up in 22 days. I can't help but feel a little homesick.

-Lauren