I woke up to the sound of my alarm this morning, same time as every day - 5:29 AM, and I shut it off after groggily thinking "Why is my alarm going? It's Saturday!"
Of course, it's not Saturday. It's Friday, December 3rd.
After shutting off my alarm, I promptly fell back asleep, and then woke up to my mom telling me to get up. By then it was 6:10, and I leave the house at 6:30 or 6:32 AM every day to walk/run to the bus stop. I usually end up running from my door, across Thomas Ridge Lane, down the empty streets to the main road, where the only other person at my stop is always there before me. And I'm usually just on time, or slightly late. It's just the way it is.
Despite my waking up late, I still managed to get out of the house, although I looked slightly less than put together.
I was perfectly on time today. I was a meter away from the stop when the bus pulled up. It's a good thing I leapt out the front door and continued on jogging all the way to the street. I might have actually missed that bus.
It wasn't too cold outside today, but as always Mrs. Collins, the bus driver, had the heat cranked up to an unbearable degree. As a Canadian living in Texas, I have scoffed at what Texans think 'cold' is, but I cannot help feeling smothered by the heat in the bus every morning. It's like an overly-warm blanket that is wrapped around every part of you. Unbearable. Mrs. Collins was also playing Christmas music.
I'm not normally opposed to Christmas music, but this morning, the songs grated against my eardrums. Somehow, when it's 20 degrees celsius outside, I cannot begin to stomach the songs that I always have associated with the snowy nights curled up by a warm fireplace while it snows outside. I especially cannot stand the song "White Christmas" or "I'll Be Home For Christmas", because those songs perfectly embody how I feel. Perfectly... except that I know that I can only dream of that snowy Christmas morning, and I can only dream of being home.
I'm so so sad. I was here for last Christmas, but I had only just moved; everything seemed like a vacation. But in 16 days, I'll have been here for a year, and I have no excuse to regard my stay here as a vacation.. It's astounding how much I wish I could go home. On those mornings on the bus, I can sometimes close my eyes and picture myself on a Calgary city bus, surrounded by diverse people I do not know, and sitting beside the one person I know very well. I only have those few minutes every morning where I can attempt to dream of such things before I'm interrupted.
There are only days left in the year 2010...
I can't help but feel relieved but also regretful.
Relieved because with every day that passes, I step closer to summer.
Regretful because as I'm wishing my days away, I know that after this year, everything will be different. The majority of my friends here will have graduated or gone back to their home countries (the sadness of being exchange students)... I will be a senior, and in another year, I'll be done with the penitentiary they call high school.
In truth, it's not that bad. I'm not generally disliked by anyone. I have friends, I'm sociable. I get great marks/grades. I just want so badly to get out. I guess it's true that attitude makes all the difference in the world.
Tomorrow, I'm volunteering at a bowling event for kids with special needs. It should be a good time. I hope it will be. I haven't volunteered in a while.
Lately, I've been reading more often that I have in months past. I've spent the past week on the Luxe series by Anna Godbersen. I read the first two a year or so ago, but only recently, I bought the entire, four part series (The Luxe, Rumors, Envy and Splendor). I loved every minute of it, except for the ending, which left a lot to be desired, in my opinion. Although the ending made sense with the characters' personalities, I don't think it should have ended that way. I had it all planned out in my head before I read the last few chapters. Not everyone would get their happy ending, but certainly more than had gotten a nice end in the book. Out of the four central characters, only one truly got a happy ending by the end of the book. I guess two more could have found their happy ending somewhere along their lifespan, but the ending didn't quite play out as I had wanted it to. As for Anna Godbersen's next series, Bright Young Things, set in the late 1920s, I am not sure yet if I will read it or not. If you've read it, tell me how it is! (:
Another thing happening lately is that I've been playing FreeRice very often. It's a website where, by answering questions right, you can donate rice to impoverished people around the world, for free. If you have a spare half hour, or 15 minutes, I'd say it's worth your time to try it.
That's all for now.
-Lauren
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